I felt lost, stuck, and frustrated. Over the course of 9 years my life had changed dramatically. I had gone from carefree single 20-something girl to wife and mom (and mom again). We had moved several times and I had changed jobs multiple times. I felt like I had no clue what I was doing or what I should be doing with my life. I knew something needed to change, but didn’t know where to turn.
I started reading and researching “self help” books, videos, podcast, and other resources. I found some that I liked and started doing the work. I felt my mindset change and my attitude begin to shift. I was making small changes and beginning to feel better. And then the problems began!
It never seemed to fail! Every time I would have a glimpse of hope, something would swoop in and take it away. Usually it wasn’t anything catastrophic, but just enough to set me back in my growth journey. Something to make me question what I was doing. Something to make me think it really wasn’t working, that all this work I was doing was for nothing and it didn’t matter. I felt like it didn’t matter what I did or how much I tried, because something would inevitably happen to counteract it.
You see, when you start your spiritual journey to happiness, you will be attacked. This is a concept taught to Christians when we begin to accept Christ as our lord and savior. We are taught that satan will begin to attack us to try to turn us away from God. It’s the same concept that spiritual teachers refer to as “ego.” This is a different ego than the one you’re used to hearing about. This ego is basically your resistance to change. It makes you think that every little thing that goes wrong is directly related to the changes that you’re making in your spiritual growth and that change is bad. The ego likes to be in control and when you take that control away, the ego fights back.
This is your warning! If you’re starting or working on your own spiritual growth be ready for the set backs and pitfalls. Get ready for the roller coaster ride because it’s going to be the most exciting, disappointing, fun, exhausting, ugly, beautiful experience you’ve ever had!